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For No Raisin!

21 Mar

Today … today I have no plans. I’m giving myself a day off for good behaviour. I’m so much further ahead with everything than I expected to be that I feel like I can relax–I wasn’t even going to start writing Power Play until today, and I already have 17,000 words of it. Kind of want to be writing more, though, I’m about to get to the bit with Motoplasm and I’m really looking forward to writing him. Chass is coming up too. Chass is going to be fun.

It may turn out that I use my ‘day off’ to write.

In the meantime, the time that is mean, here’s a short list of things that will cause me to metaphorically hurl a book as far away from myself as possible:

-Vampires.
-Fast zombies.
-Any book that starts off with pages of praise about the book/author. Show, don’t tell, people.
-Vampires.
-Pointless overlong descriptions of who a character is and where they came from.
-On that note, in-depth dry dull detail about the history or culture of a place. Show me. SHOW me.
-Campires. (That’s a camp vampire, by the way. Also vampires.)
-Pointless omission of quote marks around dialogue. It’s pretentious. Stop it.
-Dialogue written in thick horrible dialect.
-Prose written in thick horrible dialect (oh good heavens WHY would you do this).
-Vampires.
-Names like Gnrorir or Tllasttia or Vrenvir, for characters or places. No.
-Pointless swearing. Bonus demerits if it’s in the opening line; goodbye, interest! Goodbye author! Goodbye book, flying across the room!

That was just for fun, by the way, don’t take me too seriously.

Except about the fast zombies, those are almost like a crime.

Undead Factoid #1: Zombies can’t run, gawdammit.

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Posted by on March 21, 2011 in Of Writing

 

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